Yet I suffered most in the
morning; because then there was some life and energy within me
which rebelled against confinement, and panted to be free and
in the open air, looking after the very different work I could
find or make for myself. My feet longed for the turf; my
fingers wanted to throw down the slate pencil and gather up
the reins. I had a good fire and a pleasant room; but I wanted
to be abroad in the open sunshine, to feel the sweet breath of
the air in my face, and see the grey moss wave in the wind.
That was what I had been used to all my life; a sweet wild
roaming about, to pick up whatever pleasure presented itself.
I suppose Miss Pinshon herself had never been used to it nor
known it; for she did not seem to guess at what was in my
mind. But it made my mornings hard to get through. By the
afternoon the spirit was so utterly gone out of me and of
everything, that I took it all in a mechanical stupid way; and
only my back's aching made me impatient for the time to end.
I think I was fond of knowledge and fond of learning.
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