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Irving, Washington, 1783-1859

"Bracebridge Hall, or The Humorists"


Another of Master Simon's counsellors is the apothecary, a short and
rather fat man, with a pair of prominent eyes, that diverge like those
of a lobster. He is the village wise man; very sententious, and full
of profound remarks on shallow subjects. Master Simon often quotes his
sayings, and mentions him as rather an extraordinary man; and even
consults him occasionally, in desperate cases of the dogs and horses.
Indeed, he seems to have been overwhelmed by the apothecary's
philosophy, which is exactly one observation deep, consisting of
indisputable maxims, such as may be gathered from the mottoes of
tobacco-boxes. I had a specimen of his philosophy, in my very first
conversation with him; in the course of which he observed, with great
solemnity and emphasis, that "man is a compound of wisdom and folly;"
upon which Master Simon, who had hold of my arm, pressed very hard
upon it, and whispered in my ear "That's a devilish shrewd remark!"


THE SCHOOLMASTER.
There will be no mosse stick to the stone of Sisiphus, no
grasse hang on the heeles of Mercury, no butter cleave on the
bread of a traveller. For as the eagle at every flight loseth
a feather, which maketh her bauld in her age, so the traveller
in every country loseth some fleece, which maketh him a beggar
in his youth, by buying that for a pound which he cannot sell
again for a penny--repentance.


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