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Irving, Washington, 1783-1859

"Bracebridge Hall, or The Humorists"

He used
to serenade her; and, indeed, he described several tender and gallant
scenes, in which he was evidently picturing himself in his mind's eye
as some elegant hero of romance, though, unfortunately for the tale, I
only saw him as he stood before me, a dapper little old bachelor, with
a face like an apple that has dried with the bloom on it.
What were the particulars of this tender tale, I have already
forgotten; indeed, I listened to it with a heart like a very
pebble-stone, having hard work to repress a smile while Master Simon
was putting on the amorous swain, uttering every now and then a sigh,
and endeavouring to look sentimental and melancholy.
All that I recollect is that the lady, according to his account, was
certainly a little touched; for she used to accept all the music that
he copied for her harp, and all the patterns that he drew for her
dresses; and he began to flatter himself, after a long course of
delicate attentions, that he was gradually fanning up a gentle flame
in her heart, when she suddenly accepted the hand of a rich,
boisterous, fox-hunting baronet, without either music or sentiment,
who carried her by storm after a fortnight's courtship.
Master Simon could not help concluding by some observation about
"modest merit," and the power of gold over the sex.


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