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Irving, Washington, 1783-1859

"Bracebridge Hall, or The Humorists"

He had
lately, however, had a violent quarrel with his mistress, in
consequence of some coquetry on her part, and at present stood aloof.
The politic mother was exerting all her ingenuity to widen the
accidental breach; but, as is most commonly the case, the more she
meddled with this perverse inclination of the son, the stronger it
grew. In the meantime, old Ready-Money was kept completely in the
dark; both parties were in awe and uncertainty as to what might be his
way of taking the matter, and dreaded to awaken the sleeping lion.
Between father and son, therefore, the worthy Mrs. Tibbets was full of
business, and at her wit's end. It is true there was no great danger
of honest Ready-Money's finding the thing out, if left to himself; for
he was of a most unsuspicious temper, and by no means quick of
apprehension; but there was daily risk of his attention being aroused,
by the cobwebs which his indefatigable wife was continually spinning
about his nose.
Such is the distracted state of politics, in the domestic empire of
Ready-Money Jack; which only shows the intrigues and internal dangers
to which the best-regulated governments are liable. In this perplexed
situation of their affairs, both mother and son have applied to Master
Simon for counsel; and, with all his experience in meddling with other
people's concerns, he finds it an exceedingly difficult part to play,
to agree with both parties, seeing that their opinions and wishes are
so diametrically opposite.


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