For example, when Count Leo was in his 33d year, his brother Nicolai died.
Leo was present at the bedside and described the scene with the utmost
frankness regarding its effect upon his mind; and again we note that awful
fear and hopeless questioning which characterizes the sense-conscious man
whose intellect has been cultivated to the very edge of the line which
separates the self-conscious life from the cosmic conscious.
This questioning, with the fear and dread and terror of death and of the
"ceaseless round of births" and the cares and sorrows of existence was
what drove Prince Siddhartha from his father's court and Mohammed into the
mountains to meditate and pray until the answer came in the light of
illumination.
It came to Tolstoi through the very intensity of his powers of reason and
analysis; through the sword-like quality of mental urge--a much more
sorrowful path than the one through the simple way of love and service and
prayer.
His comments upon the death of his brother give us a vivid idea of the
state of mind of the Tolstoi of that age:
"Never in my life has anything had such an effect upon me.
Pages:
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274