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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Rise of Silas Lapham"

"Do you think I could love
you if you had been false to her? I know you have been
true to her, and truer still to yourself. I never tried
to see her, except with the hope of seeing you too.
I supposed she must know that I was in love with you.
From the first time I saw you there that afternoon, you filled
my fancy. Do you think I was flirting with the child,
or--no, you don't think that! We have not done wrong.
We have not harmed any one knowingly. We have a right to
each other----"
"No! no! you must never speak to me of this again.
If you do, I shall know that you despise me."
"But how will that help her? I don't love HER."
"Don't say that to me! I have said that to myself too much."
"If you forbid me to love you, it won't make me love her,"
he persisted.
She was about to speak, but she caught her breath without
doing so, and merely stared at him. "I must do what you say,"
he continued. "But what good will it do her? You can't
make her happy by making yourself unhappy."
"Do you ask me to profit by a wrong?"
"Not for the world. But there is no wrong!"
"There is something--I don't know what. There's a wall
between us. I shall dash myself against it as long
as I live; but that won't break it."
"Oh!" he groaned. "We have done no wrong. Why should we
suffer from another's mistake as if it were our sin?"
"I don't know.


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