He must stroke down the infinite belly of a
Wapping landlady. I see your lordship tremble at the very catalogue.
Could you divide yourself into a thousand parts, and every part be ten
times more gigantic than the whole, you would shrink into non-entity at
the disgustful scene.
In this emergency I can invent only one expedient. Your lordship I
remember had six different services of plate when you were in Ireland,
and the duke of P---- could boast only of three. You had also five
footmen and a scullion boy more than his grace. By all this magnificence
I have been told that you dazzled and enchanted a certain class of the
good people of that kingdom. My lord, you must now improve the
popularity you gained. Import by the very first hoy a competent number
of chairmen. You are not to be told that they are accustomed to put on a
gold-lace coat as soon as they arrive upon our shore, and dub themselves
fortune-hunters. It will be easy therefore to pass them here for
gentlemen, whose low familiarity shall be construed into the most
ravishing condescension. No men, my lord, can drink better than they.
There is no constitution, but that of an Irish chairman, that can
dispense with the bouncing whisky. They are both brawny and courageous,
and must therefore make excellent bruisers.
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