As Honest JOHN my chance is gone
Of helping ill-used PAT,
If the Union of Hearts in Shindy starts,
And the Message of Peace falls flat.
WILL and I on the Jaunting Car,
With the couple of Jarvies at war,
Are sad to our souls,
Wherefore win at the polls
If we lose on the Jaunting Car?
In battle's wild commotion,
With proud and hostile SM-TH,
O'er Land or Tithe, our hearts were blithe,
Till P-RN-LL sapped our pith.
But "Mr. Fox's" lethal darts
Make "Union" all my eye;
Our ranks they thin (whilst our enemies grin),
As right and left they fly.
Though we cling to the Jaunting Car,
We were better out of it, by far;
Not the G.O.M.'s art
Can those Jarvies part
Who fight for the Jaunting Car.
I rather like this Car, Sir,
With GL-DST-NE by my side;
But row galore is an awful bore.
When two would-be whips collide.
With J-ST-N seated forninst us,
To victory we _might_ haste,
But with squabbling bhoys, and a deuce of a noise,
_Our_ efforts are cut to waste.
Though we're perched on the Jaunting Car,
Our purpose these madmen mar,
Whilst W-LL-M and I,
With a tear and a sigh,
Hold on to the Jaunting Car.
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