Editors of newspapers
and people on General Staffs, possibly also Cabinet Ministers, have
lusts for battles, as long as they arrange the battle and talk about
it afterwards--curse them!
The only thing I want is to be with Zoe. I want to live and spend long
years with her, enjoying life--this life of which I have spent half
already, and now perhaps it will be taken from me by some other man:
some Englishman who doesn't really want to take my life, reckoned as an
individual.
Around me in the darkness are the patrol boats, manned by the
Englishmen who are seeking my life. Seeking it, not to gratify their
private emotions, but because we are all in the whirlpool of War and
cannot escape.
Like an avalanche, it seems to gather strength and speed as it rolls
on, this War of Nations. The world must be mad! I cannot see how it can
ever stop. England will never be defeated at sea. We shall conquer on
land--then what?
An inconclusive peace.
Even if we smash this island Empire and gain the dominion of the world,
how will it advantage me? I can see no way in which I can gain.
It would be said, if any one should read this: _Gott_! what a selfish
point of view--he thinks only of his personal gain, not of his country.
But, confound it all, I reply, answer me this:
Do I exist for my country, or does my country exist for me?
For example, does man live for the sake of the Church, or was the
Church created for man?
Does not my country exist for my benefit?
Surely it is so.
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