I feel I would almost welcome an enemy ship, it would soon be over; but
this uncertainty and anxiety drags on for hour after hour--and now I
cannot sleep, though I haven't slept properly for over seventy hours. I
am so worn out that my body screams for sleep, but it is denied to me,
and so, lest I go mad, I write; it is better to do this, though my eyes
ache and the letters seem to wriggle, than to stand up on the bridge
looking for the smoke of our enemies, or to lie in my bunk and count
the revolutions of the Diesels; thousands of thousands of thudding
beats, one after the other, relentless hammer strokes.
I have endured much.
_NOTE BY ETIENNE_
_A break occurs in Karl von Schenk's diary at this juncture. Fortunately
the main outlines of the story are preserved owing to Zoe's long
letter, which was in a small packet inside the cover of the second
notebook. Zoe's letter will be reproduced in this book in its proper
chronological position, but in order to save the reader the trouble of
reading the book from the letter back to this point, a brief summary of
what took place is given here. The entries in his diary which follow
the words "I have endured much," are very meagre for a period which
seems to have been about a month in length. There is no further mention
of the latter stages of Karl's passage in the wrecked boat to
Zeebrugge, so it is presumed that he made that port without further
adventure. He was evidently on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and
appears to have been suffering from very severe insomnia.
Pages:
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147