Rosa gave me the impression that she was somewhat surprised
that I should have had any difficulty with Zoe (of course I had not
told her of the shooting-box scene). Rosa evidently thinks any woman
ought to be honoured....
Perhaps I was not so far wrong in my surmises as to Rosa's previous
inclinations--I wonder; at any rate she will undoubtedly make Baumer a
good wife, and she will probably be very fruitful and grow still fatter
and housewifely. She is of a type of woman appointed by God in his
foresight as breeders. Zoe, my adorable one, will probably not take
kindly to babies.
* * * * *
I am ordered to report myself at Kiel by next Monday.
I am terribly tempted to ring up Zoe on the telephone before I leave:
it seems dreadful to leave her without a word; but at the same time I
feel that she would interpret this as a sign of weakness on my part--as
indeed it would be. I must be firm, for strength of mind pays with
women, even more than with men.
_At Kiel_.
I left Bruges without a word either to or from my obstinate darling.
It is torture being away from her. I had thought that when I was here
and not exposed to the temptation of going round and seeing her, that
it would be easier; it is not. I long to write, and how I wonder
whether she is feeling it as I do.
I have read somewhere that a woman's passion once aroused is more
ungovernable than a man's. That her whole being cries aloud for me
cannot be doubted, and if the above statement is true what
inflexibility of will she must be showing--it almost makes me fear--but
no, I will defeat her in this strange contest, and she shall be my
wife.
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