A cardinal is made pope because he is old, infirm, and imbecile--our
friend Caboose was made cook because he had been Lord Nelson's
coxswain, was a drunken rascal, and had a wooden leg; for, as to his
gastronomical qualifications, he knew no more of the science than just
sufficient to watch the copper where the salt junk and potatoes were
boiling. Having been a little in the wind overnight, he had quartered
himself, in the superabundance of his heroism, at a gun where he
had no business to be, and in running it out, he had jammed his toe
in a scupper hole, so fast that there was no extricating him; and
notwithstanding his piteous entreaty "to be eased out handsomely, as
the leg was made out of a plank of the Victory, and the ring at the
end out of one of her bolts," the captain of the gun finding, after a
stout pull, that the man was like to come "home in his hand _without_
the leg," was forced "to break him short off," as he phrased it, to
get him out of the way, and let the carriage traverse. In the morning
when he sobered, he had quite forgotten where the leg was, and how
he broke it; he therefore got Kelson to splice the stump with the
butt-end of a mop; but in the hurry it had been left three inches too
long, so that he had to jerk himself up to the top of his peg at every
step. The doctor, glad to breathe the fresh air after the horrible
work he had gone through, was leaning over the side, speaking to
Kelson.
Pages:
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58