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Lewis, Alfred Henry, 1857-1914

"Wolfville Days"

If he sees anythin' to
eat, it changes into a Gila monster, or some sech creepin' an'
disrepootable reptile; an' Billy jest simply r'ars back an' yells.
"As I intimates, he yields to them errors touchin' his grub an'
drink for days; followin' which, Billy nacherally gives way to
death, to the relief of all concerned.
"'You can gamble I'm never so pleased to see a gent die in my life!'
says Dan Boggs.
"It's most likely the second day after Billy's been seein' things,
an' we've corraled him in a wickeyup out back of the dance hall,
when Doc Peets is in the Red Light thoughtfully absorbin' his
whiskey.
"'This yere riotous patient of mine,' says Peets, as he leans on the
bar an' talks general an' free to all, 'this noisy party whom you
now hears callin' Dan Boggs a rattlesnake, bein' misled to that
extent by Red Dog licker, has a ca'm moment about first drink time
this mornin', an' beseeches me to send for his mother. As a sick
gent has a right to dictate terms that a-way, I dispatches a
telegram to the lady he names, sendin' of the same by Old Monte to
be slammed through from Tucson. I reckons she gets it by now. Old
Monte an' the stage has been in Tucson for more'n an hour, an' as
'lectricity is plenty sudden as a means, I takes it Whiskey Billy's
mother is informed that he's askin' for her presence.


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