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Lewis, Alfred Henry, 1857-1914

"Wolfville Days"

I gives it my hearty beliefs. I can count a gent up the
moment I looks at him; also I knows exactly what he is before he's a
hooman bein'.'
"'That "transmigration" that a-way,' whispers Dan Boggs to Cherokee
Hall, 'ain't no fool of a word. I'll prance over an' pull it on Red
Dog to-morry. Which it's shore doo to strike'em dumb.'
"'Now yere's Hoppin' Harry,' goes on the Colonel p'intin' to a thin,
black little felon with long ha'r like a pony, who's strayed over
from Tucson; 'I gives it out cold, meanin' tharby no offence to our
Tucson friend--I gives it out cold that Hoppin' Harry used to be a
t'rant'ler. First,' continyoos the Colonel, stackin' Harry up mighty
scientific with his optic jest showin' over his glass, 'first I
allows he's a toad. Not a horned toad, which is a valyooed beast an'
has a mission; but one of these yere ornery forms of toads which
infests the East. This last reptile is vulgar-sluggish, a anamile of
few if any virchoos; while the horned toad, so called, come right
down to cases, ain't no toad nohow. It's a false brand, an' he don't
belong with the toad herd at all. The horned toad is a lizard--a
broad kind o' lizard; an' as for bein' sluggish, you let him have
something on his mind speshul, an' he'll shore go careerin' about
plumb swift.


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