They say that they are responsible for their rifles when they have to
use them before the enemy, and you may rely upon it that they will be
all right then.
_Capt._ Very well--then we will dispense with inspection of arms.
Buttons bright, and straps in their proper places?
_Serg._ (_doubtfully_). So they say, Sir.
_Capt._ Well, then, read the orders.
_Serg._ Beg pardon, Sir, but the men say they know their duty, and
don't want to listen to no orders.
_Capt._ Well, well, I am glad to hear that they are so patriotic. Hope
that the Commanding Officer will dispense (under the circumstances)
with the formality. Anything more?
_Serg._ Privates BROWN, JONES, and ROBINSON are told off for duty on
guard, Sir.
_Capt._ March them off, then.
_Serg._ Please, Sir, they say they want to speak to you.
_Capt._ Very well--bring them up. (Sergeant _obeys_.) Now, men, what
is it?
_Private Brown_. Please, Sir, I have got a tooth-ache.
_Capt._ Very well--fall out, and go to the doctor.
_Private B._ Please, Sir, I don't want to see no doctor. I can cure
myself.
_Capt._ Very well--cure yourself. (Private _salutes, and retires._)
And now, JONES and ROBINSON, what do you want?
_Private Jones_. Please, Sir, me and ROBINSON were told off for
guard six months ago, and we think it's too much to expect us to do
sentry-go so soon.
_Capt._ Well, you know your orders.
_Private J._ Oh, that'll be all right, Sir! We'll explain to the War
Office if there's any row about it!
[The Privates salute, and retire.
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