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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890"


* * * * *
Consols 1/50094th better. Wheat in demand. Jute firm. Bank rate too
fast to last.
* * * * *
A Politician, whose name has been frequently mentioned during the
late crisis, has stated it as his opinion that a temperance orator's
powers of persuasion are to a moral victory as a Prime Minister is
to a willow-pattern dinner-plate. The remark caused much excitement
in the lobby, where this gentleman's humorous sallies never lack
appreciators.
* * * * *
What is this I hear of a certain Noble Duke, well-known in sporting
circles, having accepted a three months' engagement to appear in a
"comic character sketch of his own composition," at a long-established
East End-Music Hall? If there is any truth in the rumour, I should
like to ask _what the Duchess has been about?_
* * * * *
A distinguished Oxford Mathematical Professor has, just after
prolonged and patient research, established the undoubted certainty
of the following interesting facts beyond any possible question or
controversy:--That the quantity of Almond Rock Hard Bake, consumed in
the United Kingdom in the year terminating on the 15th of May last,
amounted to 17 lbs. 9 oz. for each member of the population, including
women and children. That if at all the old and discarded Chimney Pot
Hats for a like period were collected in a heap, and packed closely
together, they would fill a building twice the height of St.


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