* * * * *
[Illustration: "THE LITTLE VULGAR BOY."
MASTER LABBY (_to the Butler_). "WON'T GIVE ME A SITUATION, WON'T YER?
THEN I'LL BREAK YER WINDOWS! YA-AH!!"]
* * * * *
THE LAND OF THE (RATHER TOO) FREE.
SCENE--_The Landing-Stage of an English Port._
_Custom-House Officer_ (_through an interpreter_). Do you speak
English?
_Emigrant_ (_ditto_). No.
_Cust.-H. Off._ (_as before_). Have you any money?
_Emi._ (_ditto_). Not a kopeck.
_Cust.-H. Off._ Where do you come from?
_Emi._ Polish Russia.
_Cust.-H. Off._ Have you any family?
_Emi._ A sick wife and eight sick children.
_Cust.-H. Off._ Do any of you know a trade?
_Emi._ None of us.
_Cust.-H. Off._ Are you well enough to work?
_Emi._ No.
_Cust.-H. Off._ Have you any friends in England?
_Emi._ Don't know a soul.
_Cust.-H. Off._ Have you any luggage?
_Emi._ Only the Cholera!
* * * * *
A COMPENDIOUSLY GRAMMATICAL TREE.--A Yew Tree. First it may be a 'Igh
Tree, but it is a Yew Tree. It is either a He Tree or a She Tree.
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