O this is a great matter; this is a biting
thing, the denying of my own will!' As for an ensample: I see a fair
woman, and conceive in my heart an ill appetite to commit lechery with
her; I desire to fulfil my wanton lust with her. Here is my appetite, my
lust, my will: but what must I do? Marry, I must deny myself, and follow
Christ. What is that? I must not follow my own desire, but the will and
pleasure of Christ. Now what saith he? _Non fornicaberis, non
adulteraberis_; "Thou shalt not be a whoremonger, thou shalt not be a
wedlock-breaker." Here I must deny myself, and my will, and give place
unto his will; abhor and hate my own will. Yea, and furthermore I must
earnestly call upon him, that he will give me grace to withstand my own
lust and appetite, in all manner of things which may be against his will:
as when a man doth me wrong, taketh my living from me, or hurteth me in
my good name and fame, my will is to avenge myself upon him, to do him a
foul turn again; but what saith God? _Mihi vindicta, ego retribuam_;
"Unto me belongeth vengeance, I will recompense the same." Now here I
must give over my own will and pleasure, and obey his will: this I must
do, if I will feed upon him, if I will come to heaven.
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