And
in that moment I paid very dear for my happiness. I felt that
Nature always demands the price for the treasure called love.
Briefly, has not fate separated us? Can you have said, 'Sooner or
later I must leave poor Claire; why not separate in time?' I read
that thought in the depths of your eyes, and went away to cry by
myself. Hiding my tears from you! the first tears that I have shed
for sorrow for these ten years; I am too proud to let you see
them, but I did not reproach you in the least.
"Yes, you are right. I ought not to be so selfish as to bind your
long and brilliant career to my so-soon out-worn life. . . . And
yet--how if I have been mistaken? How if I have taken your love
melancholy for a deliberation? Oh, my love, do not leave me in
suspense; punish this jealous wife of yours, but give her back the
sense of her love and yours; the whole woman lies in that--that
consciousness sanctifies everything.
"Since your mother came, since you paid a visit to Mlle. de
Rodiere, I have been gnawed by doubts dishonoring to us both. Make
me suffer for this, but do not deceive me; I want to know
everything that your mother said and that you think! If you have
hesitated between some alternative and me, I give you back your
liberty. . . .
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