The unassigned
quotations following are from that paper, which I am particularly
glad to commend after rather curtly criticizing that other essay of
hers in the preceding chapter.]
(2) In regard to the little lies which form a part of the conventions of
polite society, there may be difference of opinion. Their aim is to
obviate hurting people's feelings, to oil the wheels of social misled
by them. When asked by one's hostess if one likes what is apparently
the only dish provided, or if one has had enough when one is really
still hungry, the average courteous man will murmur a gallant falsehood.
What harm can be done thereby, and why cause her useless
embarrassment? "We simply have to be polite as our race and clime
understand politeness, and no one except a naive is really going to take
this sort of thing seriously." To thank a stupid hostess for the pleasure
she has not given, is loving one's neighbor as one's self. "I know only
one person whom I could count on not to indulge herself in these
conventional falsehoods, and she has never been able, so far as I
know, to keep a friend. The habit of literal truth-telling, frankly, is
self-indulgence of the worst." In some circles, at least, the phrase
"not at home" is generally understood as a politer form of "not
seeing visitors." It must be admitted, however, that there is danger
in these courteous untruths. If the visitor does not understand the
"not at home" in the conventional sense, she may be deeply hurt
and lose her trust in her friend, if she by chance discovers her to
have been in the house at the time.
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